Does Your Girlfriend CONTROL You?

You wake up one morning, check your phone inbox and find a message from a close friend. It is an invitation to a party in the evening. You inform your girlfriend about it, expecting a ‘have fun at the party’ reply but instead get a disapproval. Reason is you have to turn up early for work the next day. Should you feel guilty wondering if your girlfriend is controlling you?

There is a thin line between a control queen and a simply caring partner. In fact, if you ask me, I believe a person who is too caring equals to a control freak. Do not be surprise to encounter such a term as a healthy control queen. As oxymoron-ic as it may seem, it is relevant for certain cases such as a gambling addict. So when does ‘the puppeteer’ become harmful? Below are two signs of it:

1) Only with her

When your girlfriend insists on going to dates with her frequently, forcing you to shove off outings with your friends, you are -I hate to break this news- effectively being controlled by her. You are only encouraged to go out with her. All other meetings are considered a waste of money, a waste of time, a waste of energy. The same goes if your actions and decisions are largely influenced by her words. You are doing whatever she advises to because the others are just plain wrong. This is compounded by the idea that you are only to confide any problems to her. The feeling of insecurity -that your friends are closer to you than her- may be the culprit of this behaviour.

2) Too caring

I know the question that lingers in your mind now: How do you know when it is TOO  CARING? Well, to be honest, it is difficult to detect. And furthermore, this sign is somewhat subjective. But if there is a general rule out there, it would be when she becomes too critical of you trying out new, adventurous or outdoor activities. Reason is she fears something may happen to you. This directly affects your freedom of collecting new experience. Not to mention the annoy-ment that comes with it: “No honey, listen to me, do not go, you may hurt yourself there. Please, honey. Please…” An overly caring girlfriend is a control freak.

That said, once again I have to admit that having a control queen as your girlfriend can be beneficial. This is when she controls certain aspects of your life that ‘needs help’. An example given earlier was a gambling addict. Another common instance is that of a guy who loves to spend big. For this case, it will certainly be good to have a financially control freak who manages his money better.

Sometimes your partner really does care for you. When she advises you whether to go to a party or not, the first impression in you must be that she truly wants the best for you. Do not immediately succumb to peer pressure and have a false belief that she is a control queen. Talk to her if you disagree with her decision or if you think she is taking charge of your life. Work things out and reach an amicable consensus in the end.